Domenica

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll know first-hand the debilitating effects it can have on you.

Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Narcissistic traits range from (relatively) lesser behaviours such as self-absorption and an inability to listen or care about another, to more sinister behaviours such as a grandiose sense of entitlement, the need for excessive attention and admiration, a lack of empathy and at it’s very extreme, highly manipulative behaviour that can erupt into rage and violence.

Most of us have encountered people with behaviours along this spectrum, and most of us can easily avoid such people. Sometimes though, the narcissist is a parent, a sibling, a boss, or even a partner. The constant emotional abuse perpetrated by a narcissist can slowly, yet surely erode your sense of value and worth.  Here’s how you can tell:

  • Difficulty making decisions, often second-guessing yourself
  • Walking on eggshells around the narcissistic person
  • Feeling isolated and disconnected from family and friends
  • Mysterious physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, panic attacks, gut issues, and even depression.
  • Lack of interest in activities that you previously enjoyed (running, painting, gardening, etc)
  • Micromanaging your life hoping nothing will go wrong and more…

So, is it possible to rediscover your sense of self and worth? Absolutely!

Many women come to me after years of narcissistic abuse.

Practise

Embrace self-forgiveness.

One belief common to all those women is; ‘I am not okay as I am’

For true healing and transformation, this belief MUST be addressed.  To be fair most women don’t walk in and say exactly those words, it’s more insidious than that, and it hides behind other beliefs such as ‘I’m not confident enough for that’, ‘or ‘what if they think I’m stupid’ or ‘I’m not smart enough’ or ‘what will they think of me’.

You get the picture right!  No matter how this belief presents in a woman, the end result is the unconscious need to seek external validation to feel a (fleeting) sense of value and worth.

With every woman, we start at the same place, and that is to heal the parts you don’t love, and that keeps you trapped in a cycle of external validation. Then we rebuild with a strong foundation of love, gratitude and Power. Just as a tree or an animal doesn’t feel the need to prove it’s worth, neither do you. Why?

Because being enough is enough. It’s what you’ve always been and all you can ever be.

A practice I encourage every woman to embrace is self-forgiveness. It’s not always possible to forgive the narcissist – that happens when it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t. More important is to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness isn’t about right, wrong, or laying blame, rather it serves to neutralise stuck energy surrounding events that are still affecting you.  It wipes the slate clean so to speak and allows space for new possibilities. It’s a very simple process.

Sit quietly with your hands on your heart and imagine love is flowing through you. Then notice how you are feeling in your body. You may prefer to think of a specific event or situation that still causes pain. As you do this, you will come up with forgiveness statements to say out loud while focusing on your heart.

Some statements won’t make sense or even be true. That’s okay, trust the process. Doing this for even five minutes a day will soon
create shifts in your life.  I’ll start you off with some samples below, and if it’s easier you can write your statements on paper before you begin the process.

  • I’m sorry you were betrayed
  • I’m sorry you couldn’t fix it
  • I’m sorry you never understood your worth
  • I’m sorry you couldn’t make it work
  • I’m sorry you weren’t good enough
  • I’m sorry it’s hard to trust someone now
  • I’m sorry you closed your heart
  • I’m sorry you don’t feel safe anymore
    (And yes, the use of the third person is deliberate).

I am passionate about working with women who are ready to transform their experiences into their superpower so they can create a life on their terms and make an impact on the world if they so wish. Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a community. It requires a woman to be seen, to be heard, to be validated, to share her experience and encouraged to step into greater power; and in turn, do the same for other women.

Connect with us

Connect with us

My online community ‘Women Thriving after Narcissism’ is designed to do just that, and was created when I realised women recover faster when they are supported collectively. If this speaks to you, join us here on our Facebook Group “Women Thriving after Narcissism”.  And because every woman is different, I also work one-on-one in a bespoke program designed especially for you. You can contact me at Domenica@domenicapapalia.com or message me directly through my “My Facebook Page”.

Blessings,
Domenica

Lyn Fernie
Lyn Fernie

Lyn Fernie

I’m Lyn Fernie and I help women eat, move and sleep for their hormones so that they can lose weight, and get their body, mind, and life back!

I meet so many women who struggle to lose weight, especially in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Does this sound familiar?

  • Diets you’ve used in the past are no longer working
  • You’ve tried popular diets like keto and you gained weight
  • You’re addicted to sugar and refined carbohydrates
  • You exercise a lot but the weight isn’t shifting
  • You find yourself more stressed and anxious than normal
  • You struggle with energy and you have to drag yourself off the couch
  • Sleep seems so elusive, nothing gives you a good 8 hours rest
  • You’re irritable all the time and your relationships are suffering
  • Your cycle has become irregular and you’re suffering really bad PMS
  • You just don’t feel like yourself anymore

Believe me, I know exactly what this feels like, I’ve been there!

Everything we do affects our hormones

Everything we do affects our hormones

For years I followed all the conventional dietary guidelines in the hope I wouldn’t die at 50 of a heart attack like my Dad or end up living in a care home in my 60s with Dementia like my Mum.  As a result, I ended up battling anorexia bulimia and binge eating for 25 years of my adult life.

When I was 37 I hit a wall; I could hardly get out of bed, each day was a struggle, my brain was foggy, my joints hurt and my periods went haywire. I had digestive problems, weight gain, a sore hard bloated belly, memory lapses, hot flashes all day every day, tingling teeth, acne worse than a teenager, heart racing, emotional outbursts and fits of rage .. the list goes on!

Countless specialists couldn’t work out what was wrong with me. I was diagnosed with early menopause, severe gluten intolerance, and multiple autoimmune conditions. Chronic fatigue ravaged my body and I struggled with my demanding corporate job.

I didn’t recognise myself anymore. All I knew was that I didn’t want to live like this anymore, I was desperate.

I made a decision that I wouldn’t accept this fate, this miserable existence.  I learnt that I had messed up my hormones with all the diets, competitive sports and exercise, a stressful career and busy life.  I spent months researching the right foods to support my cycle and my body, figured out what type of movement made my body sing and what made it want to crawl into a hole. I watched how stress took me back into that dark place, and left me drained and unable to function. 

I finally put everything I had learnt together into a 5-step program of eating, movement, detox, stress management, and sleep. I used my program to rebuild my hormones and my health from the ground up.

Eat for your hormones

Eat for your hormones

Hand on heart I can now say that I feel better than I have in 20 years, maybe better than I’ve ever truly felt. I lost the weight and the belly, I wake full of energy. I power through my day, every day. I enjoy my food again and I’ve come to love the body that I’ve been blessed with.

Through my own journey, I discovered my true PURPOSE in life and I now work exclusively with women, helping them to balance their hormones, lose weight, and get their body, mind, and life back through my signature program “The Nourish Program”.

If you would like to know more find me on Facebook or Instagram, send me a message or request to join my free Facebook Group “Eat for your hormones group”.

The Nourish Program

The Nourish Program

Facebook Page

Facebook Group

Instagram

Link Tree

+61 434159480

info@lynfernie.com

Lyn Fernie

 

Go to Lyn’s Fembuiz Business listing

Georgina Robertson

Menopause

As a clinical naturopath, I’m often struck by how women’s own health comes last on the priorities list, which ultimately compounds and complexifies things later. The effects can be far-reaching, compromising their ability to perform well and achieve all that they desire professionally. Also, to be there effectively for loved ones at home and in their personal lives.

When it comes to hormones, especially, professional woman of peri menopausal or menopausal age often face so much uncertainty, fear, frustration, and isolation as they attempt to understand the changes occurring within their bodies, whilst holding everything together across all aspects of life, advancing their careers, and planning to set themselves (and their families) up for the future. Often, they silently navigate this path – afraid of the judgement, pressure and consequences, should their reality be revealed – overtly or covertly.

That is why I’m dedicated to supporting busy women to better handle this transition. Perimenopause, the years leading up to menopause, is a constant state of flux and I’ve found, relatively poorly understood. It’s much more than changes to cycles and bleeds. An ever-changing hormonal landscape may impact tolerance, mood, body temperature, sleep, energy, metabolism, motivation, clarity, desire, urinary tract health, hair, skin, and more. For the most part, it impacts relationships and confidence.

Every woman’s menopausal journey is different, but for the women who suffer, their ability to maintain poise under the most challenging situations may be severely compromised.

Menopause

Supporting women during menopause

When it comes to hot flushes and mood swings, the two most-commonly reported frustrations, it’s a vicious cycle. Acute stress (coupled with reduced resilience) often precedes hot flushes; this exacerbates stress, bringing on more flushes. In the workplace, there’s often nowhere to run and hide, no control over the building’s temperature, and stress is near impossible to eradicate. Once a woman feels she’s been compromised as a result of a flush or her response to a challenge, it’s not uncommon for her to seek solace in sweets, salty food, or a coffee, in a bid to restore an even keel. However, ultimately, these crutches make matters worse. Cue less resilience and more hot flushes.

Much of these changes are mediated by the link between our nervous system, adrenals and female hormones. As we age, our adrenals are constantly required to step up, to regulate our stress response, and ensure continued oestrogen production, as ovarian function declines. But there are other considerations too, like the liver, thyroid, gut, and environment. It’s a finely tuned orchestra, in addition to genetics, that determines a woman’s menopausal journey. And it’s the sum of the whole. Many of our life choices have cumulative effects. Which makes it imperative to lay solid foundations earlier, rather than later. That’s your choice.

More than anything else, I’m passionate about building greater awareness of this transition, and encouraging healthy discussions around it, so that women – like you – feel supported, empowered, and in the best possible position to make informed choices. That’s different for everyone. But it’s good to have access to sound information and options.

Fighting menopause

Earth to Essence Naturopathy with Georgina Robertson

To this end, I’ve created an online community that is a private and respectful space for women to learn from one another’s experiences, and from me, to establish greater hormonal balance naturally. I’ve chosen to provide this as a free resource. Should this interest you, please click on this link. Alternatively, I work one-on-one and in group programme settings with women.

If you’d like further information, please contact me on 0411 403 691 or email: earthtoessence@gmail.com.

Georgina Robertson,
Earth to Essence Naturopathy

 

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